4 days versus 2 or 3 years

Today is the last day for year 2007. For me, this year is a very important, meaningful and unforgettable year. Start from tomorrow, a new year will come. Hope that next year will be better than this year.

He will go to his relative house to celebrate New Year start from today till 3rd. So that's mean I can't meet him for 4days. His relative still dunno that he has gf now. So, He can't bring me along. But, he hope that his relative will say something like :" Why don't u bring your gf along??"after he told them, so that he can go to his relative house together with me.

Maybe because of I can't meet him for 4days. Yesterday night I dreamed a lot of weird dreams. Like, dreamed that I'm back to Malaysia, dreamed that someone told me that "even I can't remember who are u now, but I think I knew u before.". OMG!! after I heard this I just wake up immediately. Scared me! Then I feel so insecure. I worry that one day, we would become like this. We can't remember each other clearly, or even forget about each other. I don't want these days to come! The feeling that we have for each other are so strong now, I don't want it to disappear one day! Time can change everything. No one will know what will happen tomorrow. So, who can expect what will happen after 2 or 3 years?

But however, no matter what, I will still try my best to meet him again even I'm back to Malaysia. To achieve our promises and our dreams. It is a BIG dream, so It needs a lot of hard work to achieve it. I must try my best! May these days will come one day!

Happy 1st month anniversary~~ ^^

Today is our 1st month anniversary. ^^ *Sob sob* Time pass very fast. It's already a month. Even today is our anniversary but we can't meet each other because he need to work today. *Sob sob* Miss him so much.

However, we celebrated it yesterday. He bought me a box of chocolate as my extra anniversary present. But i didn't prepare anything. I'm very bad,right? But he don't mind ^^. American celebrate their anniversary every year but for the 1st years they celebrate 1st month, 3rd month and half year anniversary.

We went to Namja Town( In Sunshine city, Ikebukuro). Namja Town is a indoor theme park.Hehe.. Dear..i think you'll like this place because Namja Town's mascot is cats and there has haunted house like Hell Hotel and Hell toilet. Of course, I not dare to go inside there even Alex is beside me. I used to went to a haunted house with him once. But I just closed my eyes all the way long inside the haunted house (I AM USELESS!, right?) Beside that, you can see and play a lot of things there. For more information you can check my friendster photos.

Beside that, Namja town is a Chinese meat dumpling paradise and dessert paradise. All of the foods are delicious there. Yummy. I still miss the Chinese meet dumpling there. I think that it's even delicious than Malaysia's. Hehe..of course cakes and ice-cream are delicious too.>< I still want to eat!!!

Haha..thanks to him. I think without him I can't feel that much shiawase now. Hope that our relationship can last forever.^^ (<----OMG, for some reasons I never expected myself will wrote and thought like this. It is just so unlike me. What do you think?)

May our dreams come true!

Well, my feeling is totally different from my previous blog. Ok, I take back what i wrote last time. Things are different now. I am no more unlucky in love. I am glad that I am here now(I am thinking like this over and over again,uncountable).

I am glad that sensei gave me chance, get scholarship, came to Japan, studying at Aoyama and met him. I have a best bf now. I feel that every second are precious. Even I will only be here for a short time (It is only 10 months), I wanna spent every second meaningfully. I even dun feel like wan to go back (I'm sorry but..), but i have no choice.

Every time when I think about I gonna apart with him after 8 months later. My heart is hurt. I DON'T WANT TO APART WITH HIM! I wonder there is future for us? Or maybe it is just a short sweet dream. However, no one can predict future. If we wanna have our future then we need to work hard for it.

Today finally we talked about this topic. Last time we decided to meet again when we study Master at Japan again. Today, we talked more on this topic. After i go back to UM, I still need to study for another 2 years. Then after I graduate, I want to apply scholarship again on the coming feb. But of course before that we need to work hard to achieve this dream. He has no problem because he is a half japanese. For him, Japan is his second hometown. But I am not the same. But not the same doesn't mean that I have to give up. There is nothing I can do but just try.

^^ He said that even we cannot meet for 2 years after this, but maybe he will come to Malaysia and find me. Haha..even I dunno it is true or not. But I'm happy that he thought like this. He gonna tell his family that he is dating now. ^^ He never dated b4. Wa~i, first love.. hehe..

Our future are still far and maybe it won't exist at all. But i hope that these days will come to me one day.

I may be lucky at everything but surely not that

Again! My weakness point. Many peoples said that I'm a lucky person. Usually they will said that I'm just lucky rather than I get it because of my hard works. Sometime I don't really like that. But I'm used to it. So, when they said that I'm lucky, I'm happy. Because it is better than nothing. Not everyone are lucky. But they usually have what i don't have.

Like something regarding to L.O.V.E. I always have no luck at that. It is either don't have suitable person around me or maybe even if i found but I'll know that it is impossible soon. This kind of things keep on going in my life.

Sometime i wonder what is wrong with me. I know I'll have a lot of bad habits and attitude. I know that guys might not like a girl like me. I know that, I know it well that everyone do. Sometime i think of wanna change myself. But wait a minute. If i changed myself then that is not the real me. Even someone fall in love with me, there will be meaningless. Because that is not the real me, that is mean HE is not fall in love with me. I wonder why no one able to c my invisible good points? Whatever, they just dunno how good am I!(oops..i said something over)

Anyway, I'm bored with this!! Sometime even I have a target, I won't put much hope on it. Because no matter what I'll know that it is impossible soon. Like now, I think stay at the stage of good friend(I dunno consider as good friend or not, but at least he tells me secrets) also not a bad thing. Well..love is always not everything for me. Except love there are plenty lot of wonderful things in this world. Ok, maybe because of i don't believe in love so as a punishment, i have no luck on it.

2 Nov 2007

My holiday start from today until next Tues because of my uni festival(Aogaku sai). Hehe..Next Mon and Tues have school trip to hot spring. Hehe..looking forward for it. Hope that can c a lot of nice scenery there.
But today is a boring day too. Didn't went anywhere today. Even feel like wanna go out, but no one accompany me. Sigh..but never mind, tomorrow i'll go to my uni festival with my friends. Hehe. Then after that maybe will go to Jiyuukaoka. I heard they said that there has a lot of cute stuff and delicious cakes. Yeah.. I love cake. Hehe..will go and try it tomorrow.Hehe..
Then Sun, i think i will go to somewhere too. But still not sure where to go. Don't feel like wanna stay at dorm. If too free then i will think of those sad things againl. Sigh..i tot that i finally found it but actually in fact that is something not belong to me. Whatever, let time decide everything. Haha..
May the happy days reach me soon.

14 Oct 2007

Yeah..today finally went to Asakusa. Woke up at 7.30am and start to go there by 9.00am. As usual they are a lot of peoples. Hehe..finally i'm there. Again, I'm glad that I'm here. Saw a lot of cute and nice stuffs today. Haha..bought something too. Then i bought a Yukata. Haha..it was cheap. But of course the quality is not as nice as the Yukata that i have.
Haha..i'm so happy. I got a Good Future "qian", haha..dunno what is it in eng. Hehe..the meaning is nearly same with what i got from Meiji Shrine last time. Encourage me to do what i want to do. Haha..can i really do what i want to do? But anyway, i'm doing what i want to do. Haha..like try to join w-inds. fan club? Haha..i'm still waiting for the letter.
Haha..i took around 200+ photos today. a lots. Haha..i just keep on take what i think was nice then ended up have 200+. Hehe..i'm glad that i bought digital camera. It's very useful. Hehe..
I saw peoples riding rickshaw today. Wow..i want to ride but no one accompany me to ride. Sigh..next time must find someone who want to ride to go with me. Hehe..it should be fun. Today is cold. Haha..and i didn't wear enough clothes. Haha..and i want to ride tokyo bay cruise. It cost around 1000yen++ from Asakusa to Odaiba. Hehe..will try it next time. Today finally saw Sumidagawa that i always read from text books. Haha..it is big. I never thought that it is that big. Haha..peoples usually will see fireworks there during summer. Hehe..can imagine. It should be nice. Asakusa surely is one of the nice places of Japan. Next time when u all come to Japan must go there. You will enjoy even just with window shopping. Hehe..
Yaa..i'm so happy today.

w-inds.

Again..i wanna write a blog about w-inds. once again. Hehe..today(11 Oct 2007) after class my course mate from Thai and me went to a cheap 2nd hand book store at Azamino. There has a lot of cheap things, like story books, comics, CDs, DVDs and so on. Then i found w-inds Photo books. OMG..it is very cheap. Can u believe that usually a photo book will cost around RM100 or more. But at there u can use less than RM30 to buy 3 photo books?? Even it is 2nd hand but still very new. Aaa..i always wanted to buy but too expensive so i didn't buy. But now finally bought. So happy (em, dear..i'm didn't waste money o. i bought it because it is cheap and only have 1 leave).
Haha..i started to love w-inds. since i was 15 years old. Haha..i love them immediately since they debut. Their songs are very nice, Keita's voice was very special that time and they are good at dance. Haha..of course as their fan, i almost have all of their singles, DVDs, photo books and all of their albums. But recently their songs are not as nice as last time so i seldom listen to their songs and i didn't like them as much as i like them last time. However, with these photo books, its remind me about them.
If u know me well then u will know that my favorite member of w-inds. is Tachibana Keita. Haha...He was so cute. Last time he was skinny and not so tall. But now..look at his muscle, he is strong and a little too tall i think. Haha..Keita really changed a lot since debut. At 1st he was not handsome. Then slowly become handsome and handsome. For me, Keita most handsome period was when he was around 16,17 years old. When they released their 5th single "Another Days". That time was ichiban handsome and cute.
Haha..omg..I like him for 6 years d. Wow...what a long time. Hehe..i remember that one of my dreams is to see their live. Haha..and now i'm in Japan. But too bad, now is autumn, their live for this year was ended. But nvm, wait till next year. Hoho..I hope that they will release nice songs soon. I miss their nice songs. I think what Teo said was right. Join their fans club even just for a year. So, i decided to join their fans club. Yeah..so i can buy their concert ticket before sold out. Now they are very popular so i don't think that i can buy their concert ticket if i'm not their fans club member. So today I've send a letter to their company. So now just need to wait till they reply me. Actually their company is near to my uni. Haha..but i just dunno where is it (lazy to walk there and see). Haha..em..so hopefully next year can watch their live. Yeah..i'm getting excited. Hehe..